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    TODAY'S Teen News   
     10/09/2008 09:43:53 AM

Spice Girls Tour Cancelled

The British girl group The Spice Girls have announced they will be cutting their reunion tour short, cancelling shows in China, Australia, South Africa and Argentina because of "personal and family commitments".

Speculation is the shows were cancelled because of a lack of interest in the named countries. The concerts were meant to take place in January, but London shows were extended, and the other shows were postponed.

The announcement states they will not be rescheduled. A statement from the group said: "Really sorry if we didn't get to see you this time round. We all have other commitments in our lives now, but who knows what will happen next."

Teens who turn a cold shoulder to coats miss the point

Now we're not talking about no coats when it's warm. Or no sports coats when going out on the town. Apparently, a lot of teenagers are not wearing their winter coats in the middle of the winter. And they are claiming they are not cold!  Average Josephine can understand a fashion rebellion as much as the next girl - she did, after all, jump head-first into the acid wash fad of the 1980s - but this trend isn't just silly, it's also chilly (excuse the pun). Who wants to be goose-bumpy and cold all the time? Not to mention all the stylish coats out there to choose from.

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Event Caught on Film Shows People Just Inches From Plane Trying to Land

French West Indies: The island of Saint-Barthélemy was the scene of a recent close call between a plane trying to land on the precarious airstrip and onlookers in its path. The two were only inches from each other at one point, as the photo shows.

Amazingly, only two people have lost their lives in recent years. The runway is only 2,133 feet in length, one of the world's shortest. Tourism websites use it to their advantage: "The landing, especially on a windy day, is an adventure in itself."

The rich and famous have found this island of only 8,400 people to be a hideaway, including such celebrities as musician P Diddy and actor Harrison Ford

Unborn Twins Save Mother By Kicking Tumor Off Cervix

35-year-old Michelle Stepney owes her life to her twin girls Alice and Harriet after the pair managed to kick a cancerous tumor loose while still in utero. Stepney went to hospital with a suspected miscarriage where doctors instead found the cancer.

Stepney was told that without the twins' intervention the cancer may not have been caught in time and that she needed to start treatment immediately. Doctors recommended a termination followed by a hysterectomy and chemotherapy.

Mrs Stepney refused, saying that she wouldn't abandon her babies after they saved her life. She had reduced chemo and the twins were born by C-section at 33 weeks. Following treatment she is cancer free and the twins, now a year old, are thriving.

 
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New Service Allows Couples to Keep Tabs on Each Other's Location

A new service in Hong Kong allows people to track the location of their significant other by tracking their cell phone. It's called “Follow Me, Follow You” and has a monthly fee of about $28. It allows unlimited searches for other customers. Initially billed as a way to give couples a way to settle issues of trust by allowing them to see if they're where they say they will be, others are using the service to keep track of children and the elderly. Other couples find the service useful to help them locate each other in Hong Kong, a city of 6.9 million residents. So far, the service has attracted over 10,000 subscribers. A consent form must be agreed to by both parties as well.

 
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U.S. Navy Unveils Destructive 'Sci-Fi' Weapon

Fans of 'Quake' and 'Battlestar Galactica' will recognize the U.S. Navy's newest weapon -- the electromagnetic railgun, capable of firing a projectile over 230 miles at seven times the speed of sound, decelerating to Mach 5 at impact.A test-firing was captured on video at Dahlgren, Virginia, after which the Navy called it "the world's most powerful electromagnetic railgun." It uses kinetic energy rather than explosives, which the Navy says will make its ships safer.The railgun is planned to eventually replace conventional weapons aboard ships. The Navy's MK 45 gun, currently in use, has a range of under 23 miles. "I never ever want to see a Sailor or a Marine in a fair fight," a Navy official said.

 
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Actor Heath Ledger's Grief-Stricken Family Return Home

15 of Heath Ledger's family, including his mother Sally Ledger Bell and Sister Kate, were escorted to Tom Bradley Terminal by Los angles police along with private security staff and Australian consular staff. There will be a private funeral during the week.

The post-mortem performed the day after his death did not come to any conclusion as to how he died, and the only evidence was six different anti-depressants and sleeping tablets found in his apartment.

A toxicology report should be completed shortly. The family made there exit without problems except for one incident where a family minder had forced a photographer against the wall at the airport.

 
 

'Grey's Anatomy' Star Hospitalized

Justin Chambers, who plays Dr. Alex Karev on hit show 'Grey's Anatomy,' has been hospitalized to get treatment for a sleeping disorder. The treatment has been confirmed by Chambers's publicist Danica Smith.

Smith said Chambers "asks that the press respect his privacy and that of his family." Chambers was in the UCLA Medical Centre for the treatment last week, from Monday until Wednesday. No other details were given

Super Short Skirts Expected for Fal

Styles shown at New York Fashion Week showed super short skirts for Fall fashion by designers Nicole Miller, Lacoste, BCBG Max Azria, Erin Fetherston, Abaete and Kimora Lee Simmons. Most models also wore opaque tights with their skirts Nicole Miler presented a style with loose tops and a tight bottom. She also showed a zip-front catsuit. Lacoste had mini-dresses with striped sweaters. Laura Poretzky had some short skirts and a look of "French femininity, Brazilian sensuality".

 
 
 
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Today's News

That joke isn't funny anymore

 
There's a moment at the end of "Antenna," an episode from the fifth season of "Aqua Teen Hunger Force," when the near-Dadaist, Adult Swim montage comes to a strange yet wholly appropriate realization: After Master Shake is tricked into climbing an interplanetary tower, he's confronted by a group of aliens who tell him, "you are the (television) show" before broadcasting him on every network in the world. Strange though it may be, the ensuing scene - Frylock, Meatwad and their despicable neighbor Carl are mesmerized by Shake's broadcast, wading in filth from prolonged viewing stasis - plays as the punchline to this moment's meta-joke, positing Master Shake as mindless entertainment even in his own show.

After five seasons and a full-length film, "Aqua Teen" has found itself with a near-dry well of spastic humor and offensive sight gags. Born of senseless violence and incoherent drug trips, "Aqua Teen" has proven itself the most beloved and often incomprehensible of the Adult Swim animated shows. But where the show was once impossibly innovative and full of I-never-would've-thought-of-that moments, it now feels run-down and mundane, using not only recurring characters but, essentially, recurring plotlines.

This is not to say it's all gloom and doom in the animated wonderland that comprises "Aqua Teen" - though the episode "Grim Reaper Gutters" from this season might argue otherwise. The show still carries some of the originality and ingenuity it saw in its first few seasons. The episode "Boost Mobile" critiques increasing consumerism and blatant whoring of public ad space as Master Shake virtually sells his soul for Boost Mobile phones, chains and sunglasses. Meanwhile, "Bart Oates" jokes that former New York Giants center Bart Oates is actually a robot from the future, looking to stop the creation of "Terminator" and henceforth limiting human's awareness of the animatronic takeover.

But for every great episode, there are ones like "Dickesode." Downright offensive in its conception and animation, the plot revolves around a Chinese restaurant that, in their fortune cookies, threatens to cut the patron's dick off - all in an effort to allow an oversized humanoid penis the ability to travel back to his home planet ("Dickplanet") in a ship made of dicks ("Dickship"). Um, sure.

Where exactly does a show like "Aqua Teen" go from here? This show has covered such a wide range of topics and grilled so many public affairs that it seems almost out of material. But it also seems like a show that should have an unlimited amount of ideas given the flexibility of its platform.

It will then come down to whether or not the writers are able to sift through their half-baked ideas and harvest the ones that are truly hilarious. In any case, season five seems to be the crossroad: From here, "Aqua Teen" can either catapult to greater work or stagnate and settle for lackluster episodes and flat, dry jokes. But if this season's extras are any indication - a mass of completely inane and worthless short clips - the show is tending towards the latter. Unfortunate for a show that once made 2D, multi-colored pixels seem the most devious and hilariously terrifying creatures to visit earth.

 
 

Mice Help With Common Cold

A mouse has been 'created' by scientists at London's Imperial College that can catch a cold. Boffins believe their creation could path the way for new treatments for the common cold, asthma and other respiratory conditions.

The rhinoviruses are the cause of most colds and can also cause chronic bronchitis and emphysema. It was thought only higher primates could contract the rhinoviruses, but the G.M mouse offers a new direction for research.

Professor Sebastian Johnston said: "These mouse models should provide a major boost to research efforts to develop new treatments for the common cold, as well as for more potentially fatal illnesses such as acute attacks of asthma and of COPD."

The God Delusion... for Kids

"How Do I Get to God, Asked the Small Piglet" has been blasted by the German Family Ministry as they claim it makes the distinctive characteristics of Christianity, Islam and Judaism ridiculous. The story tells of a hedgehog and a piglet who find a poster that says: "If you do not know God, you are missing something!". This frightens the young animals, as they had not realized that anything was missing in their lives. Along their journey to 'find God', the animals come across a rabbi, a bishop and a mufti who are made to look insane, violent, and constantly at each others throats. The GFM wants the book labeled as dangerous for children.